Alta Vista -- Frequently Asked Questions --

Bloopers

Invariably, whenever we come to Alta Vista, we find our newly placed non-stick pots and pans ruined by overheating and/or scratches.  And we ask ourselves, "Do people think that what they find in a vacation home can suffer more abuse than their own things in their own homes? Do they really treat their own property the same way they treat ours?  Or do they park their common sense at home when they leave home for vacation?"

After all, what could there be so special about this house?  You own your own house and know how to use home appliances and electronic equipment and whatever else is in there!  Sure, you do -- but read what other renters actually did:
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--- Key Codes -- Renter, on the day before the rental date:  "How do I get into the House?"  This is probably the single most often experienced blooper.  The key code is at the top of an e-mail we send to every renter after receipt of their final payment.  What we cannot do for them is:  reading it; getting it out of their spam filter; or making them realize that is is longer than the one-liner which their smart-phone e-mail program may flash in the in-box.

--- Why are there two sheets in the bed?   On top of the mattress pad we have a fitted sheet, then a flat sheet followed by the duvet.  That's how it usually is, is it not? And  everybody knows that the intent is to sleep on top of the fitted and under the flat sheet ... but really?  Believe it or not, some renters did not know this!

---  Cooking with an empty pot: what happens if you place a pot with a bit of water in it on the range, to steam your vegetables, turn on the cooking plate -- and then "quickly" go outside "just for couple of minutes"?  You guessed it:  the water will evaporate, and the bottom of the pot will then get so hot that it melts, and the molten solder will drip onto the stove-top, and ... and ... While we needed to replace the entire discolored and warped cooktop, the renter, to whom this happened, steadfastly stated, "The pot was inadequate to hold boiling water!"

--- Excessive dishwasher detergent: A renter notified us, "The dishwasher is leaking!"  Indeed, it will do that if too much detergent is used.  (The excessive foam will create an overpressure inside the dishwasher, and foamy water will be pressed past the door seal and drip onto the floor. A teaspoon of detergent is plenty for one load.  "Less is better!"

--- The "Bear Box" --  Renter: "We could not put the garbage in the outside enclosure, because we could not find it. So we left it in the garage!" Well, even after the most intense snow storm the bear box is still just a few shovel loads away from "re-discovery." Garbage and recyclables MAY NOT be left in the house or in the garage.

--- Christmas Wrappings --  Renter: "There was not enough space in the "Bear Box for our Recyclables!"  Indeed, some of your Christmas gift wrappings may have to go back home with you ... 

--- Clothes lines: Renter reported upon their departure, "when we arrived there were one or two white towels hanging in the garage that we left in the garage." With our European background, using clotheslines for efficient and environmentally sound drying of laundry is "in our genes," ...
(We do have clotheslines in our large garage, out of sight from anywhere outside the house).

---  Strong hand in the kitchen: Replacing twisted appliance knobs is an annoying, recurring and costly nuisance. I ask myself,"why don't people understand that not every knob functions the same way in every house?"  One thing is for sure, if you cannot easily turn it the same way as you are used to in your home, try the other direction, or try depressing it first -- but don't force it! (please understand: some of these knobs or stems are difficult and costly, or not at all, to replace ... ).

---  Turning on the gas-fireplace: like many built-in gas fireplaces do, ours has an on/off switch on the mantle.  It is also connected to a thermostat in the adjacent bathroom, which is set at 48 degrees so the fireplace will come on as back-up freezing protection. Renters could not "find" the switch and re-programmed the thermostat so the fireplace would turn on. Then, at their departure, they called me asking how they could turn off the fireplace. "Also," they stated, "the room is pretty warm ...!"  No wonder!  That fireplace, intended as accent for cozy evenings, had been running 24/7 ever since they messed with the thermostat! We had to hire an expert to re-program the thermostat back for freezing protection.

--- Breaking things: Renter reported to us, "We wanted you to know that we broke two snow shovels!" When we asked if they replaced them, they responded, "sorry, we didn't." (no further comment ...).

---  Snow/ice under the garage door: What happens when snow or ice has built up under the garage door, and you press the "close" button and depart?  Of course, the door will come to a premature stop, and the safety mechanism will make it go back up ... and you left the house wide open ... Neighbors called me to tell me that our garage door was open.  Renter: "... the garage door was faulty!" (We had caution labels posted about this issue).

---  Hot tub in winter:  what happens when you pull the plug for the hot tub in winter?  It will freeze -- and it will stay frozen for the rest of the winter season, and no other renters will have a functioning hot tub. When we could finally unfreeze it some three months later, we were lucky that the damage to the equipment was only minor ... Renter: "We did not need the tub during our stay and wanted to save energy!

--  Stepping through screen doors: What happens when you are on the deck, at night, and don't see that the screen door is closed and you walk back inside?  Of course, that's the end of that screen!  Renter:  "... the screen was old and fragile!"

---  Washing/drying laundry takes time! If you start with washing your laundry just an hour before your departure time, off course it won't get done!  Renter:  "the dryer is no good -- and so we couldn't leave on time!" Or, another renter: "It was impossible for us to do the laundry! Yet another renter folded the linens still wet ...

---  Common Sense: Renter: "The water cooker does not work any more!"  "Did you plug it in?"  "Oh, I plugged it into another outlet, and there it works!"   "Perhaps you touched and tripped a GFI -- that can happen easily!"  "Oh, that was it ..."  (thus was the contents of multiple e-mail exchanges ...)

---   Plugged toilets: why do people try to dispose of items in the toilet of a rental home that they would never throw into their toilet at home?
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All of these things can happen.  To anybody.  We all make mistakes.  That's understandable.  But what is a lot harder to understand is that the people committing these bloopers often would not live up to their mistakes but try to disguise them and leave the problem for the next renters to discover -- or blame us, or the materials or our facilities that they happened, in expectation of getting their full security deposit returned ... 

Thank you for your understanding!  We take the mere fact that you have read this page as an indication that you will treat our home with care, and we will be happy to accommodate your repeat patronage. To that effect, we will give you an extra five percent discount on your repeat rental fee when you request it and cite this "bloopers" page offer.

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